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Past Me

I’m drained into the words that play out in my head. I say it’s just voices of the people who hurt me in the past, the voices I cut ties with. But in there the loudest voice is my own. I try to cut ties with the past me. I need to leave her behind and let her be stronger than she thinks she is. I need to stop feeding that part of me who still resents her. I need to learn to love that version of me. I need to forgive her for all the times she didn’t fight. I need to fight now for her and prove to her that it was not wasted time all along. I need now more than ever to let all the parts of me unfold, even the parts I’m ashamed to face again. I need to face the little girl inside and tell her she was never weak, she just didn’t understand. I want to tell her she wasn’t cursed, only special. I need her to know that the loneliness is temporary. I need her to know that the real her is worth finding. I need her to know she did her best and it was enough. I need to tell her she never fails until she stops trying. I need her to know it’ll be worth it. I need her to bring the hope back because mine is dying out.

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