In times like these I need to be my own pep talk. When I cannot understand why things get ripped away when I need them most. When I cannot foresee if the dream I am chasing will keep me alive. When what I saw as an open door was another disappointment. When I start to question myself and need someone else to believe in me too. When “future” starts to be a very scary word because I only have “unknown” to fill in the blank. When I’m forced to seek a reason to keep me from walking away. When I dig deep and create a masterpiece of my own thoughts. When I create with all that I am, and that is real. I am a human who occasionally cracks and sometimes the pieces scatter. Sometimes I need my own pep talk before anyone else. Sometimes I need to keep creating to find out it’s my calling. It is easier to be a risk taker when you’re blind to the risks. But while flying high I looked down and stirred up a panic within. For once in a long time, I considered the risks…and I took a step back before taking off. But everything below seemed bleak and empty- a life I never wanted, and without a second thought, I soared.
I wanted to write this more than for anyone else, for me. I needed to know that there was still something inside. That even when I let my thoughts run wild and I become anxious, that no risk is bigger than my drive. I want you guys to know that it is okay to be afraid. It is okay to need to cheer yourself on before anyone else. Whatever fear you have going on stopping you from truly living-evaluate it. Is letting that fear stop you really worth it? Is taking the easy way something you certainly want? If it isn’t, let your dream be big enough to take you over. Keep up the grind for your vision before regret hits you in the face.
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