Skip to content

Time

So much life is spent in a fight against time. Like hamsters we get caught in a wheel racing towards a dead end. We burn out living out a life we didn’t want but chose regardless because we were told it was the quickest route to go with. Our paths are chosen by everyone except us because we are so afraid to take a risk and instead, we choose to play it safe. As I’m learning to take action with what I want in life, I decided that I had to figure out what I wanted. I had to block out what everyone else thought I should be, what would bring me more money and what would make more sense. I had to mute all the voices and really listen to myself. I had to dig deep and I was forced to recall the moments in which I felt the most fulfillment. I drew back many memories. I saw images of me writing, of me going on missions, of being with my family, of helping people. It was the moments in which I was simply giving more of me in which I was truly content. It’s important to take time to listen to yourself and rule out the noise around. For a long time I wanted to start blogging. I held back because as much as I want to believe that I’m a risk taker, I was too afraid to take this risk. Because it meant so much to me, I was scared to go for it and get no results or validation. I chose to keep it under the rug because I needed to be “practical.” Even as a little kid, we were rushed to choose our career. I jumped from wanting to be a doctor (before realizing blood makes me weak), then it was actress, and at one point I wanted to be a detective. We are forced to choose our life before we even know ourselves well enough to know what we want. It is also why I often found myself in melt downs; fearing that I’d never had the freedom in taking my time. Caught in the race against time, I forgot that it was on my side all along. I had to make a choice, to swim against the tide no matter how hard the current hit me or listen to the voices (both out and inner) that said otherwise. Many times we think the biggest obstacle is the people or circumstance around us. It hardly occurs to us that most often we are our own obstacles. We qualify ourselves by what we’ve done and not by what we could do. We limit out potential because we’ve been too focused on being in tune with time we never take control. We set out schedules and timelines and grow desperate if anything is slightly off. We forget that plans or not rules and we have the ability to alter it. We were taught to save time so all our choices revolved around that. We stopped making time for friends, for family, for even ourselves. We were proud to say we were busy because that somehow meant that we were “somebodies.” We leveled our success on how filled our schedules were and overlooked the little things. We forgot to cherish our accomplishments because we rushed through them, looking for something more. It stopped being about anything but climbing the ladder-the fastest way possible. We never noticed the highlights until it was too late to go back. Now we’re caught in a whirlwind that we haven’t been able to stop.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: