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Begin Again

​Selfish. I’m so quick to point fingers claiming accusations for the actions of those around me, deeming them thoughtless and egocentric.  All this while proudly praising myself in secrecy; that I am not so greedy or self-indulgent as those I accused. However, all these accusations come from my own shallow need to build myself up by the flaws of another.  My so called selflessness is really a selfish plea for praise and validation.  When did the thoughtful gestures stop being an action of love? When did they become a pedestal for me to stand on? I’m not satisfied.  I doubt anybody who lives by this standard really is.  I’m done.  I’m going back. Back to the days where I chose to love unconditionally, expecting nothing in return.  Because though often broken and hurt, I was satisfied.

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